ATTACHMENT "E"
IRATE/UPSET PARTICIPANT
This is one of the toughest things you are going to face. If handled incorrectly, it can cause net participants to "take sides" and erode the morale and effectiveness of your net. People get their feelings hurt over nothing, especially when they are tired and under unusual, stressful circumstances. Your first reaction may well be to retaliate in an upset manner. This will blow the net. Here is a formula to cure the problem:
Slow up. Don't respond instantly. Take a deep breath
Do a quick personality review of your assailant.
DO THE NEXT THREE STEPS ALL IN ONE STATEMENT.
Acknowledge the problem. Give in to the "Problem". Whether they are right or wrong! This acknowledges that there is a problem and that you are recognizing that fact. It also throws them off balance. They are not expecting this. Once you agree that there is a problem, the "fight" is gone.
Empathize with them! Whether you understand or not, tell them that you can understand how they can feel that way and that under the same circumstances, you would probably feel the same way.
Ask them for a quick and simple suggestion for a solution. Listen intently! This is where they will reveal the real problem. Everything they have said up to now may have been a loud smokescreen. Somewhere in their suggestion, they will tell you what they really want from you.
If their suggestion/solution is something reasonable, tell them that you will try to put it into play. If it is not, make a counter-suggestion that will satisfy the real problem that they have revealed to you.
If the problem cannot be resolved quickly and reasonably, quietly send someone to replace this individual and relieve him from his post. If there are no posts involved in the operation, give up ... let him win . . . politely explain that the net must continue, thank the person for his services, and tell him he doesn't have to stick around. You tried to solve the problem reasonably and he refused. He wins the fight and you won the battle. The rest of the net will respect what you did and morale will remain intact.